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The Old Crow Self Medication Show

by BIG GAY

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1.
Roses are queer Violets are queer You're queer I'm queer The whole world is fucking gay But we're all going to die at the hands of the cis, oh well, ok
2.
Seppuku 02:58
Cutting my belly Is how I would like to go Sliced with a tanto Slicing my belly Don't fret it's honorable Cut now seppuku Three cuts in x3 My belly Three cuts in x3 Seppuku I cut with the knife Incisions go left to right Bleed out on the floor Bleed forevermore Disemboweled by a knife Cut now seppuku Three cuts in x3 My belly Three cuts in x3 Seppuku No second for me Decapitation's too quick Disembowelment The last cut is near My vision begins to fade Bowels on the floor Three cuts in x3 My belly Three cuts in x3 Seppuku
3.
I can't relax, this isn't just coffee in my cup And if you could judge a persons soul by the coffee that they drink Mine might not be as black as you might think It would be riddled with alcohol because I really miss my cat And now I want to go home, but I don't feel at home anywhere And I feel trapped by every situation I get myself in People tell me it's a paradox to feel simultaneously lost and trapped But if I don't know where I'm going how the fuck can I get out? When all the coffee tastes like cigarettes and all the soda tastes like rum You know you're doing something right with your alcoholism And my mother she always told me that it's alright to cry But she sent me to a therapist because she didn't want to know why And therapy didn't help because I was told not to talk to strangers So now I internalize all my problems and collect cigarette burns Because fire is the cure to sadness Says Federico de la Fe And now I want to go home, but I don't feel at home anywhere And I feel trapped by every situation I get myself in People tell me it's a paradox to feel simultaneously lost and trapped But if I don't know where I'm going how the fuck can I get out? And wouldn't it be nice, if all the ephedrine in my veins Could make me less suicidal, maybe take away the pain But all it really does is keep me awake during the day I guess it also suppresses hunger, so what I'm really trying to say Is that the taste of sadness is all I really need to live on
4.
College 01:57
I sit around at home and I wonder why I need a college degree to get by You that's the road that I need to take But I should take that road for whose sake? Thousands of dollars going down the drain For a piece of paper? Man, you're insane You could've got a book at your library It's an endless source of information, and it's free You've got your high and mighty prestigious degree But it seems to be the only thing you show to me When you say college is my only route There's just one thing I keep thinking about Thousands of dollars going down the drain For a piece of paper? Man, you're insane You could've got a book on Amazon But look what you decided to spend your money on Four years of my life devoted to parties and beer And you say it's for the sake of my career Too bad my parents aren't just rich slobs They'd pay for my masters and then give me their jobs Thousands of dollars going down the drain For a piece of paper? Man, you're insane You could've joined the army and got in for free But who the fuck would want to die for this country?
5.
I've been praying all night that the Lord would come And give me the courage to kind of rise above The ailments of every day life that come to burden me Well I pray that the Lord would send his Spirit to me 'Cause when the Spirit gets in me and I'm as bold as a bear I can speak my mind around anyone and not even care Won't care what people think of my ideas and my thoughts 'Cause when the Spirit gets in me it comes in pints and draughts I try to look at the bright side of things, people call that optimism But my glass is half full of gin and I think that's called alcoholism And even if it were half empty I think it would diagnosed the same But I could care less about the glass as long as the Spirit was in the thing 'Cause when the Spirit gets in me and I'm as might as a lion I can speak my mind around anyone and not worry about lyin' Won't care what people think of my ideas and my thoughts 'Cause when the Spirit gets in me it comes in bottles and shots The Lord he will come through He'll send the Spirit to you And if you're still not convinced of the powers above Just come and have a drink with me and I'll show you the Lords love 'Cause when the Spirit gets in me and I'm as drown as a fish I'll look up at the sky and ask the Lord for one last wish My mind will be more clear than anyone might have thought And I'll ask the Lord to spare some change 'cause I spent my last dollar on that 40 I just bought 'Cause when the Spirit gets in me and I'm as strong as a horse I'll know that things can't get very much worse Won't care what people think of my ideas and my thoughts 'Cause when the Spirit gets in me it comes in pints and shots and 40s and draughts And lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of beer
6.
Part 1 Everything you cherish and hold dear to your heart Will one day take a shit on you and fall the fuck apart And if you're asking yourself how I know this to be true It's because for 30 silver pieces I would probably betray you Like Judas Iscariot I might just kill myself I hate the fucking world just like everybody else Disappointment and depression that's all we'll ever know In a world where Limp Bizkit tryouts include Rivers Coumo That's right folks you fingered your first love to Fred Durst So instead of asking why I'm sad now you'll just know why it hurts So many things since then have fallen apart I can't masturbate to the Blue Album or call my music art Everybody in the world is only looking out for themselves That's why they sell anarchy patches on Hot Topic shelves Betrayal is an instinct in every human mind "It's in my nature" said the scorpion, "I can swim" said man-kind Part 2 Beaten down and broken, mistreated and concussed Multiple stab wounds to the back by people we thought that we could trust Like the time I ripped of AJJ unintentionally In part one of this whole thing Fucked up and used, tired and abused Sippin' on the dregs of the only courage that I use Scourged and scorned, why the fuck was I born? The dichotomy of life and death has got me torn When I wake up breathing, people tell me I should feel blessed To wake up to corruption and wars, but I digress It's like finding out your favorite, Insane Clown Posse Is part of the whole evangelical Christian monopoly Part 3 When we met I was depressed and sang lots of Johnny Hobo songs I drank more than I ate and thought about how everything had gone wrong Well now I'm drinking less and I've aged a little bit But I'm still depressed, Pat the Bunny's dead, and Chris Clavin is a piece of shit When the fuck won't I feel betrayed By the people I've met along the fucking way I rewrote this song again Promising myself I'd write letters to all my friends It won't be everyday, but I'll make god damn sure that I remember To change the fucking font from Arial to Helvetica 'Cause if there's one thing I learned from being with you, it's the type of fonts that I shouldn't use Because Arial is just a re-rendering of Helvetica, they stabbed right in the fucking back Just like the people I looked up to when I was a kid When the fuck won't I feel betrayed By the people I've met along the fucking way I rewrote this song again Promising myself I'd write letters to all my friends It won't be everyday, but I'll make god damn sure that I remember To change the fucking font from Arial to Helvetica
7.
Hugh Manns 01:09
Misconception I can't see in all directions Because although I'm a recluse That doesn't mean I have eight eyes Or legs, or other spider things But my words are venom Used to paralyze my victims And ensnare them in my web of deceit Misdirection Review your skewed perception My forked tongue speaks in circles But I don't walk on my belly Or shed my skin But my words are venom Used to paralyze my victims So I can swallow them whole and store them in my belly Misinterpretation Take another look at my grin I might smile like a Cheshire cat But that tea is getting to you A very merry unbirthday to you My words are venom Used to dispose of my victims Deception and subterfuge are the tools of our species And that's a fucking shame
8.
I bite my nails, I twirl my hair Shaking hands and stuttered words A half smile, a vacant stare Stumbling, fumbling all my nerves I am the trash under your feet I am the ash from you cigarette I'm the last swill in you bottle I'm the used condom on your motel floor An empty bottle, a broken mirror Self prescribed to make things clearer Another drink straight down the hatch I'll wake up to the aftermath I am the trash under your feet I am the ash from you cigarette I'm the last swill in you bottle I'm the used condom on your motel floor I wake up to another day Take a breath of nicotine Continue the cycle of decay Living a life of disarray I am the trash under your feet I am the ash from you cigarette I'm the last swill in you bottle I'm the used condom on your motel floor
9.
You call us faggots, you call us queers Treat us like we're less than peers Yelling obscenities like it's no big deal Shut the fuck up before we make you Cops are killing people every day But you're more caught up about people being gay Like gay marriage is some how worse Like we'd want to get married in your homophobic church Holy matrimony is for a man and a woman According to the biblical definition but Little Corey said it best, so I'll say it too "Fuck you and fuck your parents too" One Ring to rule them all One Ring to find them One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them Trying to limit basic human rights With your own opinions and stereotypes Life, liberty, the pursuit of hapiness But only if you're white and cis
10.
Dear Cat, 01:22
Dear cat, how've you been? I'm not gettin' much sleep The drugs ain't kicked in And I'm tired and weak I gotta work in the morning But I might call off 'cause I'm sick and I'm tired And I wanna lie in bed with my dog Perfect and sane thoughts flow through my brain Then all of a sudden I'm crying and babbling Nothing can help the state that I'm in I'm sorry I'm not a better friend Burnt out and pissed Sick and tired of all this Existential Crisis Blurred vision in a spinning room with nothing but my thoughts Wondering if I am the Kwisatz Haderach But I must not fear, because fear is the mind-killer And I cannot decide if I like David Lynch's Dune Dear cat, did you like Dune? I hope that you're doing well We'll see each other soon 'cause all cats we go to hell
11.
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea Creations revealing your majesty From the colors of fall, to the fragrance of spring Every creature unique in the song that it sings All exclaiming Indescribable, uncontainable You placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name But it's such a shame 'Cause I'm going to hell For being myself And it's at your command My blood on your hands But believe it or not I gave it a shot Six years of my life I prayed to your Christ But then we had a talk While I was down on my luck And you told me that I did not give a fuck That's when I "fell from Grace" Became a disgrace Stopped going to church Gave up on self worth But he is, all powerful, untameable Awestruck we fall to our knees and we humbly proclaim My prayers were in vain! Now I'm doing real swell Condemned to hell Jesus might have died But my sins are mine And after I die If I come to the river styx Let's hope I smell like so much alcohol Charon thinks I'm Dionysus
12.
Smoke 'em down to the filter 40's of malt liquor You gotta be frugal What the fuck is an oogle? No gods, no masters No pope, no pastors No beams, no rafters All cops are bastards! Face tats in 'nola Whiskey and cola Drunk by the train tracks Comparin' skanks, bibs, and 30 racks No jobs, no bosses No religions, no crosses No hopes, no dreams Patch up all the broken seams Show up late for the show No donations, but drunk as hell Won't let my dog near the stage Do any of y'all even ride freight trains? No hitchin', no cars Sleepin' under the stars No PC, no tact There ain't no such thing as Leftöver Crack!
13.
How did this happen? How did I get to here? Lot of liquor, lots of beer Lots of self deprivation, my ego's not that big Drowning in desperation, I need a cigarette These shatter proof forties don't represent my broken soul Because my hopes and dreams they died a long time ago I might still have aspirations, but they don't amount to much That's why I need a breakable bottle to hold my liquid crutch Fuck my life, all I want to do is die So I'll pour a drink to suppress my anxiety A drink for my depression, so I can pretend to belong A drink for the fun of it, pass out on the lawn These shatter proof forties don't represent my broken soul Because my hopes and dreams they died a long time ago I might still have aspirations, but they don't amount to much That's why I need a breakable bottle to hold my liquid crutch Wake up with the shakes, what the fuck is going on? Take a swig of whiskey to move the day along Hair of the dog, the best cure for a hangover The real trick to it is never being sober That's the alcohol, I am the liquor Because my doctor said that would kill me quicker And as I said, I just want to die Bury me in poverty, call it a night These shatter proof forties don't represent my broken soul Because my hopes and dreams they died a long time ago I might still have aspirations, but they don't amount to much That's why I need a breakable bottle to hold my liquid crutch
14.
I am a wretched wretch retching A sobbing sleep deprived sap Maybe that's a little rhetoric But it's true to my nature in fact Because I am forever alone It's not that everyone leaves me, I drive them away Eternally hiding in my room Dying inside more and more each day I'm the only company I have because I'm a recluse A mirror is the self loathing narcissists only muse So I sit at home everyday wondering why If winter is coming, then why can't I? And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad That when I'm masturbating It's the best love that I've had

about

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Wes Meadows of Flowerpot Records.
All songs written by Natty Bumppo except for A Poem by MK read by Natty Bumppo, which was written by my good friend MK (if the title didn't make that obvious).

credits

released February 26, 2019

This iteration of BIG GAY is:
Natty Bumppo - guitar, bass, vocals, and clapping.
Wes Meadows - bass, percussion, melodica, trumpet, backing vocals, and clapping.

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BIG GAY Columbus, Ohio

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